The Many Types of Homeowners — Through a Realtor’s Eyes
Alright, time for something lighter. As a real estate agent, you get invited into an incredible variety of homes—and strangely enough, certain homeowner personalities show up again and again.
In this blog, I’ll walk you through some of the most common (and most memorable) homeowner “types” I encounter.
Max the Spreadsheet
Max is an expat. He’s businesslike, ultra-direct, and humor is definitely not his strong suit. Think of Max as a polite but slightly intimidating robot who runs life like a quarterly board meeting.
Max wants to sell his house, and the way he approaches the process is pretty much identical to how he manages his team as a senior “global-logistics-private-equity-supply-chain-whatever-it-is-I-don’t-quite-understand” executive.
Max wants to know the inputs (what will this cost and what do you need from me to get my home market-ready?) and the outputs (what exactly will you do, when will I see results, and what’s the expected sale price?).
Oh—and Max has done his homework. He knows exactly which house down the street sold last month and for how much.
Traits of Max the Spreadsheet
- Expat
- Male
- 40–55 years old
- Emotionally… neutral
- Sets the bar high by constantly referencing the neighbor’s record-breaking sale
- Very demanding client
Smokey Joe
You know immediately when you step inside Smokey Joe’s house.
Well… there go my clothes—straight to the dry cleaner.
Joe is a devoted roll-your-own tobacco enthusiast. Ashtrays appear in every corner of the house like decorative pieces. Eating a biscuit there is a gamble, and you secretly hope you still have some hand sanitizer in your car afterwards.
But Joe is incredibly kind. He says what he means and does what he promises. He’s the kind of man who has worked with his hands all his life and clearly has a story behind those calloused palms.
And doing business with Joe is actually very straightforward. He doesn’t care about a slick presentation or fancy proposal.
If the vibe is good and the handshake is firm—you’ve got the listing.
Traits of Smokey Joe
- Not exactly health-conscious
- Male
- 60+
- Extremely friendly
- Handshake = contract
- House is messy and dirty
- Usually a renovation project
Auntie Connie
Connie—better known as Auntie Connie—lives in the same cozy working-class neighborhood as Joe, though lately the area has been rapidly filling with young professionals.
Connie has never been shy about the occasional cigarette and a generous glass of sweet white wine. When she talks there’s a bit of that classic smoker’s click in her voice, occasionally interrupted by a cough.
She lives alone with a tiny dog. Unlike Joe’s place, her house is spotlessly clean. Photos everywhere. Possibly a sticker on the window warning burglars that “serious measures will be taken.” And it’s usually very clear which football club the family supports.
The TV or radio is always on, Connie speaks with a wonderfully strong local accent, and she has opinions about absolutely everything—including politics.
But above all, she’s a fantastic client. Just like Joe, you know exactly where you stand. No slick marketing pitches required.
If she trusts you, the job is yours.
Traits of Auntie Connie
- Formerly… enthusiastic about smoking and wine
- Female
- 60+
- Very direct
- Working-class roots
- Handshake = contract
- House is clean and tidy
Oliver & Chloe the Overachievers
Oliver and Chloe are a big-city couple with far too much income, far too much home equity, and far too wealthy parents.
They’re “ready for the next step.”
They want to trade their luxury city apartment for a house with a garden. And a garage. And a kitchen island. And six bedrooms. And it must be within five minutes cycling distance of the train station.
And also this.
And that.
And that other thing.
My goodness, they are demanding.
When you hear their budget you wonder two things:
- How enormous their monthly payments must be.
- What on earth they must earn every month to afford it.
Oliver does something vague in supply chain management. Chloe earns an astonishing amount of money for a job nobody can quite explain at some government agency.
There are no kids yet—but you strongly suspect one of two things:
either Chloe is pregnant, or they have a carefully scheduled plan in place to make that happen.
Free time?
- Sport: padel and squash
- Holidays: two ski trips, two intercontinental trips, eight European city breaks
- And twice a year to Dad’s holiday villa somewhere sunny in southern Europe.
Traits of Oliver & Chloe
- Extremely busy lifestyle
- Highly successful
- High budget
- Looking for a neighborhood with “people like us”
- Often no financing contingency needed (Dad guarantees it)
- Zero flight shame
Ethan & Lily the Dream Team
These are wonderful clients.
Ethan and Lily are a young couple with one or two kids. They firmly believe in the principle of “everyone has their profession.”
Lily is a teacher. Ethan works in IT.
From the moment you walk in, there’s a connection. And from the very first conversation they follow your advice.
Remove that cabinet? Done.
Paint that wall white? No problem.
Make a maintenance overview for the past years? Already working on it.
They operate like a perfectly synchronized team—two gears smoothly turning together.
Send them an email or text and two hours later: done.
They trust you fully, and because of that the sale usually becomes a huge success.
Traits of Ethan & Lily
- Friendly couple with young kids
- Extremely organized
- Always keep their appointments
- Leave great reviews
- Often a buy-and-sell combo deal
The Yilmaz Family
Such a warm household.
This cheerful Turkish family welcomes you at the dining table while you take notes. Meanwhile, brothers Emir and Emre are already curiously inspecting your laser measurer and iPad.
Baby Zehra watches everything safely from her mother’s lap. Across the table sits Ahmet, unmistakably the head of the family.
Shoes neatly left at the door, of course.
We step into the garden to inspect the shed, and I’m offered a pair of house slippers—none of which improve my appearance.
Ahmet proudly walks me through the house and explains the materials and details of the property. Outside he offers me a Turkish cigarette, which I politely decline.
While lighting one himself, he asks with a smile:
“Nice house, right? What do you think it’s worth?”
I promise Ahmet I’ll run the numbers carefully and get back to him soon.
Traits of the Yilmaz Family
- Large family
- Warm and welcoming
- Well-maintained home
- Tile floors everywhere
- Not particularly cozy interior design
- Leather sofas
- One or two cats
- Often a conservatory
- Father clearly the head of the household
- Looking for a sharp deal and the best possible sale price
The Vermeulen Circus
Alice and Tom have been loyal customers of their local midwife practice for about ten years now.
Let’s just say: they really like having children.
Their family home is about 180 m² and seemingly contains a bedroom in every available corner.
The house has two washing machines and two dryers, and the laundry room is roughly the size of my own master bedroom.
One thing is guaranteed whenever you visit:
It’s always lively.
There’s always something happening—cleaning staff working, kids playing, a full kitchen counter, chocolate sprinkles on the table, hockey sticks in the front yard, and a landing upstairs covered with laundry.
It’s chaotic—but incredibly warm.
They are genuinely kind people, they listen to your advice, appreciate your help enormously, and sincerely want you to earn a good living.
Traits of the Vermeulen Family
- Big family
- Warm, kind people
- Lots of children
- House has maintenance issues (especially painting)
- Plenty of signs of daily life
- At least two pets
Sebastian & Julian (My Personal Favorite)
And finally, my absolute favorite homeowners to visit—often during valuations.
Sebastian and Julian are blissfully happy. A couple perfectly in sync, like two gears turning together. Yin and yang.
No kids. No clutter. Great jobs.
Their house is beautifully designed, with perfect balance and consistency in furniture and decoration. It’s spotless, cozy, and radiates calm.
Sometimes I walk through and think:
This must be what heaven looks like.
Outside the door there are restaurants, shops, and life. But inside the house: peace.
What do they do for work? Are they secretly famous interior designers?
No idea.
All I know is that I’ll take my time with this valuation—because afterwards I’ll have to return to the beautiful chaos of my own family home.
For clients like these, you’d better bring a polished, well-structured sales proposal supported by strong market references.
Spelling mistakes? Absolutely unacceptable.
Your professionalism—in person and on paper—must match the house itself: balanced, elegant, high-quality, and tasteful.
Traits of Sebastian & Julian
- Beautifully maintained home
- Expensive and perfectly styled interior
- The couple works seamlessly together
- Professionalism from the agent is crucial
- Their house is the exact opposite of a typical family home
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